A Good Mom

One day I was in the waiting room at the doctor's office and this old man was chatting with the woman next to him. At one point she asked him if he was married or had kids. He said no and sounded sad about it. Then he paused and said “but I had a really good Mom, and I really miss her.” 

This man had to be in his 80’s sitting there talking about his wonderful Mother and how still to this day he misses her. I had just had my son not long before and I remember feeling so entirely stressed and overwhelmed by this new life of motherhood. 

His words “but I had a really good Mom” really struck me. My eyes watered sitting there, taking that simple sentence in. Because in the end, when our kids are grown and look back on their lives and their childhoods isn’t that what we all want them to say?  

Every sleepless night. Every decision we question. Every all consuming worry. Every “be careful”, “I love you”, "let me help you."  Every minute we spend second guessing our choices, hoping we are making the right ones, praying they will grow up happy, and confident and feeling so deeply loved.. is all encapsulated in the  hope that they can look back and say “I had a really good Mom.” 

That man didn’t mention what his mother did for work. He didn’t say that he had an amazing childhood because he traveled the world, or was given the best education. He didn't say I love my mom... but... and add in her shortcomings. In fact, there was no follow up explanation at all. He was simply speaking the truth about her and his love for her in that one seven word sentence. And though, his life didn’t bring him a wife or children, he in his old age looked back and thought he still won life, he still had this incredible silver lining to share because he was given a mother who he cherished and loved and I'm sure she cherished and loved him in return.

And, while my husband is in the depths of one of the hardest forms of grief imaginable in losing his mother, I pray with everything in me that someday,  despite this loss, despite the sadness he can find some resolve in the fact that he was so cherished and loved by her. That he, too had a really good, incredibly loving and kind Mom, and how much of a gift that is. 

For me, I hope I can emulate that example of love for my own son. I hope I can carry the things she taught me, so that my sweet son too can look back some day and say "I had a really good Mom"... what more could a mother want?